


And In This Pool Of Blood

by cyanidegah



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bands, Frerard, M/M, MCR
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1229209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanidegah/pseuds/cyanidegah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard tried to hide a lot of things from Frank, but he wasn't very good at keeping secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll meet your eyes. I mean this, forever.

Gerard Way was buried deep under a pile of alcohol, pills, cigarettes and art, and no matter how hard he tried, he could never manage to find his way out, not that he wanted to. It was like he thought of himself as something more than human, sipping cyanide from a champagne glass seemed logical. A good way to go. Even some of his closest friends had to admit "If he didn't want to be saved, I guess he's not worth saving."  
Frank Iero liked to think he disagreed with this, even though he knew inside somewhere that Gerard was, well, a hopeless case. How can you fix something that doesnt want to be fixed?  
Before Frank slept, he'd lie and wonder how someone so broken could laugh so much and make it sound so real. He's still to figure out the answer to that question. He was confused as to why he could love someone so sick, but it was the taste of Gerards lips that kept Frank with him. The strong smell of smoke on his clothes, his quiet humming, the way he'd trace franks tattoos as if drawing them on himself, the way he slept, the way he fucked, the way he smiled. It all drove Frank crazy.  
So, he tried to focus on that half, putting every heartbreak, every bit of pain he ever felt with Gerard too the back of his mind, because it didn't matter.  
After a tiring day stacking shelves and listening to teenage girls giggle about boy bands at the music store, Frank made it back to his house minutes before eleven pm. He struggled to get the key in the door for a moment, before it was swung open by someone inside. Frank looked up, blinking at Gerard. An intoxicated, ill looking (Also slightly hot, although Frank tried his best to ignore that part.) Gerard Way.  
"What are you doing here?" Frank furrowed his eyebrows at the taller boy stood in the door way. Gerard had left just before Frank had left for work, or so he had thought.  
"Y-you were meant to call.." He mumbled, looking as if it tired him to open his eyes. "I was worried 'bout, you, Fra-" He stopped mid sentence, giving Frank a chance to move out the way as Gerard threw up on his front porch. He sighed, stepping around the puke and into the house, taking Gerards wrist in the process, and leading him into the kitchen. Gerard took a seat at the kitchen table as Frank wet the corner of an old shirt, leaning over and wiping the sick from around Gerards mouth.  
"How much did you have to drink?" Frankie sighed, throwing the shirt in the trash instead of the wash bucket. It'd give his mom less work to do, he guessed.  
Gerard shrugged, leaning his elbow on the table top and his chin on his palm. "I don't remember."  
After a moment of silence, Frank huffed, walking up behind him and brushing the strands of hair stuck to his forehead behind his ears.  
"We ought to get you to sleep." Frank muttered, and led Gee down into his room, laying him on the bed. He switched out the light, but left the blind open, letting the moon turn Gerards pale skin even whiter.  
"Frankie." Gerard, half whining, half whispering, called as Frank re-opened his bedroom door.  
"What?" He looked back at the boy lay on his bed.  
"Hm,"  
Frank didn't understand what the slight whimper meant, but he guessed anyway, closing his bedroom door and walking back to the bed where Gerard lay. He crawled under the covers next to him, combing his hair slightly with his fingers.  
Gerard, although taller, shuffled down, laying his head on Frankies shoulder and closing his eyes.  
Frank couldn't help but marvel over the way Gee's lashes hit his cheek bones, lips parted slightly as his chest rose and fall. He liked to think Gerard was at peace when he slept, but Frank knew, even though he tried to hide it, that his sleep was packed full of horrid dreams. The thought only made Frank shuffle closer to Gerard, tangling a hand in his black hair as if it was the only way to keep a hold of him.  
Gerard tried to hide a lot of things from Frank, but he wasn't very good at keeping secrets.  
He tried to hide the way he'd sliced into the skin on his upper thigh. He'd been careless and forgotten all about it, letting Frankie notice while they were fucking.  
He'd tried to hide the way he flushed his pills down the toilet instead of taking them. He'd lost his temper when they wouldn't flush once, and Frank had come running.  
And now Frank knew he was trying to hide the fact that he was in pain, but Frank could see right through his thin, transparent smiles, and it killed him.  
"Frankie."  
"Mh?" Frank murmured, jotting down another few chords in his book before setting it on his mothers coffee table and looking Gerard in the eyes  
"I, um-" He swayed shyly. "I love you."  
Frank blinked at Gerard twice before raising a confused eyebrow. "I love you too, Gee, but, is something the matter?"  
"No, no." He muttered with a smile, not as fake as his usual grin. "I'm okay, I'm fine, I was just checking." And for the first time in months, Frank took his word for it.  
Funny how an hour later he found the same boy, black hair stuck to his face with sweat, lips turned white, and both his pale wrists slashed vertically.


	2. This Is The Best Day Ever

The white washed walls of the hospital room reminded Frank of when he was a kid. He'd been to this exact hospital when a bunch of kids, out to get his wallet, had broken his arm at age fourteen. He'd called his mom, trying to hold back tears because of what his father used to tell him.  
Boys don't cry, kid, pull it together.  
He was trying his absolute best to remember his father telling him that now, but the tears kept flooding until there wasn't anymore left. By the time Mikey and Gerards mom arrived, Frank was left with red eyes and a dry face.  
"They won't let me in." He told them. "I'm not family, you two go ahead." And they did, leaving Frank. yet again, sat alone on the hallway floor.  
He wished, god damn, he wished he had enough good memories of Gerard to remember, just so he wouldn't feel so alone, but he didn't.  
All he could think of was the slicing and the scratching and the pills and the fighting and the crying and then this.  
By the time he'd found Gerard on the bathroom floor, Frank could have sworn that there was no soul left to bargain with. There was no one in there to cry for.  
"They have a pulse!" Mikey yelled. Frank looked up, startled, to find the younger boy knelt beside him. Suddenly, he began to cry again, leaving Mikey looking confused.  
"It's good news, Frankie, you don't have to cry." He smiled, one eyebrow raised.  
"What about the therapy? The rehabilitation? He'll just do it again." Frank looked away, causing Mikey to frown. "He's a smart kid."  
"They said seventy two hours for your first-"  
"But it isn't his first, is it?"  
Mikey shrugged, slumping back against the wall.  
"I don't want to go home." Frank said to himself, causing Mikey to turn a head.  
"Stay with us!" He thought about it for a moment, then realizing his house was a place filled with Gerards old things, he changed his answer. "Stay with ray?"


	3. Thank You For The Coffee

It'd been a couple of hours since Frank had arrived at Rays from the hospital, groggy and upset. He'd been given a steaming cup of black coffee, too hot to drink, that he just held between his hands. Ray came from the kitchen to sit on the couch across from him, sighing deeply at Franks distant expression. He hated seeing his friends sad. Especially Frank. He knew how much shit Frank had been put through with Gerard. Yes, of course it wasn't Gerard's fault, but Ray knew Gerard couldn't help drag people down with him, even though he didn't mean to. Frank didn't like talking about his boyfriend with anyone, but if he did, it'd be with Ray Toro.

"Thank you for the coffee." Frank said after a few minutes of silence. Ray smiled warmly and nodded.  
"Did you get to talk to him?" He asked Frank, sitting back with a cup of his own. The smaller boy shook his head.  
"No." He said, but then lifted his head. "Mikey says they might let me in tomorrow. When he's awake, though. You know, um, because he's going to be there for a, uh, while."  
"I'm sure it'll do him good this time." Ray reassured Frank. "Maybe time in there will do, well, what it's supposed to do: Make him better."  
Frank shrugged and sighed, pulling his knees up onto the couch and leaning his head on top of them.

When Frank woke up on the same couch, he only had one thing in mind. He had that same thing in mind until he stepped through the doors of the hospital Gerard was staying at the next day.  
Mikey was slumped uncomfortably on two chairs, not far from his brothers room, his eyes shut. Frank shook him, almost causing him to tumble to the cold hallway floor.  
"Room 104." He mumbled, changing positions and closing his eyes. "You can go in, my mom is in there."  
Franks polite, catholic background told him to knock before entering a room, so he did. Gerard's mom stood behind the door, and she smiled at Frank when she saw him. He found it kind of funny how, after having to go through all of this again, she could still make her smile look so genuine.  
"Go inside." She whispered to him like she didn't want Gerard to hear, and that meant he was awake. One part of Frank was ecstatic. He loved Gerard more than anything. Far more than he loved himself. If he died, Frank would...Frank didn't know what he would do.  
But the other part of Frank felt a pang of anxiety. He was suddenly extremely nervous. What was he supposed to say to him? He'd run out of promises to make Gerard. He'd run out of 'you'll get better''s and 'you'll be okay''s, and Gerard had run out of apologies. They had nothing left to say.  
By the time Frank was done debating with himself, Ms Way was gone.  
"Grow a pair." Frank told himself quietly. He took a deep breath, and turned the corner to see Gerard.


	4. Way Down

Gerard was staring at the ceiling like it upset him. Like the scratches and cracks in the white paint hurt him. Frank walked slowly over to the side of the bed, scuffing his shoes on the marble, and sat down next to the bedside table. He studied the red line of blood staining Gerard's bandages and sighed. "Hey, Gee." He uttered. The words stung his throat.  
Gerard turned on his side to look at Frank, his eyes wide and full of pain. He didn't say anything, so Frank reached down and took one of his hands. "Does it hurt?"  
He knew for a fact that the 'nice as pie' act wasn't working. He could almost feel the other boy reading his thoughts and wincing. Gerard shrugged. "A little."  
"They were pretty deep this time, we almost lost you."  
"Yeah.” He said in a ‘that was the point’ kind of way.  
Frank mentally cursed himself, wanting to take his words back.  
"It needs to stop, Gerard." Frank sighed. "This needs to stop."  
Gerard looked hurt, but he turned back to the ceiling. "I know."  
The blunt words angered Frank, and caused a few tears to spill from his eyes. He wiped them away with his sleeve, but they kept coming. He knew Gerard knew, but it did not mean that he would do anything about it. He broke a sob, covering his face with his hands like it would hide his cries. Franks next words made Gerard shed a few tears himself.  
“I miss you.”


	5. Chapter 5

"Maybe it's me."  
Mikey and Ray both looked over at Frank with their eyebrows raised. He was frowning as he twirled the chewed up coffee lid between his fingers. The thought had been at the back of his mind for a few days now. Maybe it was his fault that Gerard was the way he is.   
"Frank," Mikey moved forward to the edge of his chair, patting his friends arm. "You've got to understand that Gerard has always been like this. Well, at least since we were teens, anyway. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault."  
"Yeah, man." Ray added. "Don't bring yourself down. We're gonna get him out anyway."   
"How?" Frank looked up at them both, uneasy.  
"My mom's been having conversations with the hospital. She's going to have to work real hard, and he'll know that when he gets out. She'll make sure of it, after he's better, of course. But she will get him out. If anyone can, it's mom, and she doesn't want Gerard in anyone's hands except hers."   
Frank shrugged, crushing his empty plastic cup between his hands. "Maybe he's better off in there."   
"Have you ever even met Gerard Way?" Mikey rolled his eyes. "I think he'd rather die than go back in that place. You know what he'd do-"  
"He wouldn't be able to in there."   
Ray shook his head. "He'd find a way."   
"Frank, it's not your fault, okay? We've just got to wait for things to get better, okay? They do. Trust me. We just have to wait. You done?" He asked, nodding towards the door.  
Frank held up his wrecked cup. "I think so." 

Back at the hospital, Ms Way was arguing with one of the doctors. Frank could only guess what about this time, but Gerard sat with his hands over his ears and his head on his knees.   
"Ms Way-"  
"Doctor, I suggest we discuss the custody of my son outside of this room, but let me just remind you that he is a grown adult! He is capable to make his own decisions and I'm only there to support him! That doesn't mean I'll let him be taken away to be prodded at by ridiculous machines-"  
"Ms Way!"  
She huffed, and lead the doctor out of the room. The muffled shouting could still be heard faintly.   
"Gerard, you can come out now." He looked up at Mikey and took his hands from over his ears, folding them instead. "Fucking Doctors."   
"What do they want now?"  
"Me. In a fucking crazy house."   
Frank winced at the thought. "Surely this-" He fumbled. "Surely this isn't enough to be sent somewhere like that."  
"He did try to kill himself." Ray added "Twice."   
"I don't want to go to a fucking loony bin!"  
"You're not going to a fucking loony bin, calm down!" Mikey slumped back into the arm chair as Frank took a seat at the end of the bed. Gerard looked up at him, It's not like they had properly spoken since then. Frank stood back up and Gerards chest deflated.  
"I just want to go home, you know?"  
"You will go home." Ms Way walked back into the room, heels clicking on the tiles. "Not yet but you will. Three strikes and you're out though, Gerard. We'll talk. You three wait in the van."


End file.
